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Workshop Schedule for 2010

PBF 2010 Schedule

Thursday Night: Poly 101 & Welcome discussion group

Friday Morning Bike Ride (R&S)
Friday 1: "Subtle/unsubtle communication" Liz / "Morning Stretching" with Jeff & Arielle
Friday 2: "Emotional Release" Arielle / "Negotiations/Agreements/Expectations" Dan
Friday 3: "Medicine vs. Ice Cream" Robie
Friday 4: "Being a good lover" Dan
Friday Night: "BDSM and Kink Panel" Robie

Saturday Morning run (Elise)?
Saturday 1: "Dealing with STD testing in Poly" Fire Scott
Saturday 2: "Vees that Please" Deborah / "The Love Language You Don't Understand" Julia
Saturday 3: "How to Apologize" Emma / "Jealousy" Deborah
Saturday 4: "Forgiveness" Arielle / "My Self Help Path to Better Poly" Fire Scott
Saturday Night: Strip games in Cabin 4, non-strip versions in the Dining Hall

Descriptions of 2010 workshops:

Liz

"Subtle/unsubtle communication" 

If you ask a seasoned poly veteran what's important to sucessful 
polyamory, you'll often get the reply "communication, communication, 
communication". But how do you communicate? Do you blurt out the first 
thing that comes to mind? Do you have to think about it for a while 
before you can talk? And what about those who communicate using facial 
expressions and tone of voice? Join for a discussion on different 
communication styles.

Savanni

"Living as a Primary Secondary: A discussion group"

Some of us live as secondaries to all of our partners, lacking primaries
and the kind of emotional, financial, and logistical support that
typically goes with a primary partner.  Sometimes this becomes
emotionally draining.  So, here I want us to gather to discuss how we
support ourselves and work with a support network different from the
primary model most of us were trained in while growing up. 

 Deborah
"Vees that Please:  Lessons Learned and Open Questions"

If you're in one or more poly vees, how's that going for you?  What helps keep
the three of you satisfied with the relationships?  What, if anything, is hard
about being in a V?  Come and share what you’ve learned about what’s worked well
and your questions about ongoing challenges.  We’ll focus on poly V
relationships--dyads connected by a shared partner (rather than triads or 3-way
symmetric relationships).  Session format:  Facilitated discussion.
 

Deborah
"Taking a Look at Jealousy"

What purposes does it serve?  What triggers it for you or your partners?  How do
we experience it and what can we learn from it?  We’ll consider common sources
of jealousy and options for what to do with it.  Session format:  Presentation
and discussion.

Julia

"The Love Language You Don't Understand"
Introducing a bunch of tools for helping relationships run a little more
smoothly.  Practical application of your partners's love languages, especially
the ones you yourself are really weak on.

Robie

"Medicine vs. Ice Cream"
In an ideal world, we would all have the energy to fulfill every commitment,
large and small, that we had made with our loved ones.  Life is what it is,
however, and some agreements fall by the wayside.  This can have few
ramifications, or it can cause real problems.  How do we keep life from damaging
our relationships through broken or belatedly completed agreements?  How does
each person determine which agreements are the most important to him or her? 
Why are they important? 

Sometimes, life intervenes and a person is required to pick between agreements. 
As good partners, how do we prioritize agreements so that our loved ones feel
cared for and important?  How do we renegotiate agreements so everyone feels
loved and safe?

Not all expectations are bad.  Some are very good, in fact!  How do you know
which are which, and how do partners come to agreement on expectations?

If agreements and commitments are part of your current poly practice, come and
share with us your experiences and thoughts and hear what other folks have to
say on this topic!

Arielle
"Emotional Release Workshop"
We are trained at a very early age that some emotions are good and others are
bad.  Subsequently, we learn to bottle some emotions or deem them
"inappropriate" and cause ourselves physical and emotional challenges that we
wind up suffering from later on.  This workshop will allow participants to
access and express those emotions for healing and freeing up stuck energy from
the past and present.  We will explore different techniques to use on an ongoing
basis to allow for more and freedom around emotions and emotional release.

Arielle
"The Art of Forgiveness"
This workshop explores what forgiveness is, why we want it, and how to go about
doing it!

Elise
Run/walk on Saturday morning.  She tends to go about a 14 minute/mile pace, so
folks of all abilities are welcome to join.

Elise
"Crafts for Kids" - during the Town Hall Meeting.  Kids get bored when grown ups
are debating (and bickering) - send 'm to her!  Probably some coloring books and
maybe some popsicle stick art, but we'll see. 

Dan
"Negotiations/Agreements/Expectations"

Negotiation: Specifically about negotiating boundaries and permissions.  This
could be the initial talk about switching from mono to poly, or it could be
about taking a relationship to a new level, or whatever.  Subtopics include:
-          Spectrum of “no” to “yes”
-          Avoiding explosive emotions
-          Talking about extremes as a method of overshooting the proper
boundary and reeling it back in

The value of agreements: This is about having agreements for the sake of keeping
agreements.  Agreements don’t always have to be logical.  Sometimes it’s just
about showing that you care enough to keep the agreement.  It builds trust and a
feeling of safety.  Over time, the agreements can change and become looser, but
only if the trust and safety are there.

Being cool with expectations: We all want to feel we are important to our
lovers, but it’s a crazy world, and sometimes we are disappointed.  Let’s talk
about managing our expectations to identify the critically important ones and
how to smooth over some of the others when things go south.

Dan
"Being a good lover"

Short description for schedule: Love is great, but let’s not forget about the
sex.  Mad skills are great, but what’s more important is the attitude you bring
with you.
I know polyamory is about the love and the relationships, but face it, we are
also getting together for happy fun sex.  So, let’s talk about getting the most
fun we can.  I don’t want to get into the specifics of “the Kegal half-twist” or
such.  Rather, I want to talk about the attitudes we bring to our lovemaking.

So, I thought I’d start with my 4 rules for making love to a woman generalized
to be gender neutral.
-          Your partner’s enjoyment should be at least as important as your own.
-          Be open to new ideas/techniques to give and receive pleasure.
-          Ask for feedback afterwards and learn from it.
-          Remember who you’re with and what they like.

This is what has worked for me, but I’d like it to be an open discussion where
people can share their own attitudes that have worked for them.

Jeff & Arielle

Meditation and Stretching

Start PBF from a peaceful, centered place wit morning meditation and stretching!  The meditation piece will include some breathing techniques and visualization offer by Arielle Webb who uses a blend of Shamanic and Buddhist practices and other fun tools.  The stretching part will mostly involve Yoga, and maybe a little Tai Chi and Thai Massage.  Wear comfortable clothing, and bring your yoga mat.  If you have any physical limitations, let us know and we will work around it.
 

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The schedule for this year is still under construction. We need volunteers to lead workshops and discussions. Please Contact Jeff If you are interested in leading a workshop or moderating a discussion group. We also have space available for physical activities like yoga, nature walks or hikes, bike rides, etc.  We encourage you to reach out and participate.

Sunday Morning: Packup, Cleanup, & Packout!Examples of previously led workshops:

  • Poly 101
  • Poly 102
  • Boundaries
  • Yoga
  • Tai-chi
  • Romance
  • Poly & Spirituality
  • Non-sexual intimacy
  • Std/Sti forum
  • Cohabitation
  • Ethics
  • Describing & defining relationships
  • How to talk to girls (for the ladies)
  • Long distance relationships
  • Edible bedroom delights
  • Poly 40+ social hour
  • Dating a newbie
  • Poly & the internet
  • Poly & Kink panel
  • Communication
  • Jealousy
  • What it means to be poly
  • Relationship building and strengthening
  • Various other workshops related to adult content
  • Poly with kids